The year 2013 has been a difficult one for me in so many ways.  And each and every aspect of the challenges has been intimately personal.  I do not enjoy living my life waiting for the next shoe to drop…but, waiting I have done and continue to do.  To think it is June, the year about to be half over, and, I continue awakening with fear.  Just when I think that we have maybe gotten to the worst of it, something unexpected happens that guts me a little bit harder.  I have always believed in prayer and have spent a good deal of time practicing that belief.  All of a sudden, I am being faced with the possibility that prayer doesn’t change a thing…that horror and evil and injustice have the power.  Much as this thought makes me go cold inside, I am wondering if there is truth behind it.

I have written about my anger at the injustice delivered onto the most beautiful human being I have ever known.  My position is clear.  I have also shared a portion of my research from the past four years.  When I say a portion…I have yet to even touch the surface of what I have learned.  I still believe that gathering facts all together in one place is an important part of PAYING MICHAEL FORWARD.  I will continue to do just that.  It is important for all who take the time to read, and, it is important for me to feel a sense of contribution in enlightening others.

Alas, I come to my heart’s wounds on this day.  Today is the day that Michael will be falsely accused once again in a Los Angeles Court.  And, yet again, the media will feed on Michael and spew their vomit out onto a believing public.  Once again, another extortionist will try to get rich on Michael’s talent and endless hard work.  And, I will die a little more inside.mtv rehearsal

But, there is something even more horrible.  Paris Jackson attempted suicide yesterday.  That beautiful, young, talented daughter of Michael’s, his little princess, the apple of his eye attempted to take her life.  I admit, that was not something I expected.  There are legions of people shocked by the news.  Gratefully, we have been told she is okay physically.  But, she is receiving medical help.  Many have speculated on the reasons that brought her to such a decision.  It isn’t my place to speak for her…she is an intelligent girl who can do that for herself.  What I will say is that, when I heard Robson on the Today Show, I was literally brought to my knees.  I called a friend to say that I was in trouble.  She came immediately and we spent the evening talking and crying.  I truly didn’t think I could live through this.  If I, an adult, felt that way…I can only imagine the terror that Paris must feel.  I try to picture what I would be feeling if someone brought those accusations against my father.  I would be panicked.  I would be desperate.

Now comes my great despair.  I cannot understand why Michael is being put through this again.  I cannot understand why his children are being made to face this each and every day.  I cannot understand why someone who gave his life to helping, rescuing, saving children must be crucified yet again by a so-called friend.  I cannot understand why Katherine must endure this again.  SOMEBODY TELL ME WHY!what more can I give

And so, I turn to the page to try and help me sort out this life I am living.  Michael’s words always teach me, calm me, inspire me.  And, I feel his love each time.  I also find help in the words of others, those who really knew Michael and cherished their time with him.   And, there are those who write from their hearts describing their insights into the man.

Cathartic as it may be to write about my pain, I want my blog to inspire and teach and give readers hope and love. So, I offer today’s posting…a time to share what I have learned from others.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFXT9g2AGKc

“After Michael died, I read an article in a magazine about how crazy it was working with Michael: chimps and Elephant bones and snakes and so on.  I didn’t know the author nor had he ever been to the studio or ranch.  It was un-named sources and TABLOID VOMIT.  I got tired of the press and people who wanted to make a quick buck saying and writing with no shred of truth behind their words.  I wrote a few articles about my years with Michael and they were well-received.trees 

A group of Fans in Paris approached me and asked me to put together a seminar and really explore our years in the studio and at the ranch.  I began writing a book (currently in the works) which tries to recap a story that took 18 years to live.  Being totally honest, I want to try to document what it is like to work with one of the most unique entertainers in modern history.  No speculation, no deep theories, just an introduction to someone I had great respect for and considered a friend.  Yes, it might be for the Fans, but it is also for my kids, and maybe for Michael’s kids.  I want them to know what it was like to be there and to be part of such an amazing journey.

My name is Brad Sundberg and I first met Michael during the recording of Captain EO in 1985 at Westlake Studios in L.A.  I was asked to join MJ’s team as an engineer the following year for the production of the BAD album in 1986.  Then came the tour (I worked with Michael and the band to restructure the new songs for live performance, the dance moves, the short films and so on.)sweet

Then came Dangerous, Michael’s first project without Quincy Jones…another year in the studio, another tour, more short films, more remixes.

Then came HISTORY which we recorded in New York.  We were at the world famous Hit Factory for nearly a year, followed by our prep for the History World Tour.  Along the way, many songs for Blood On The Dance Floor were recorded and mixed.

When Michael bought Neverland Valley Ranch and wanted to turn it into his amazing home, he brought me up to start designing music and video systems to make it magical.  He would call me on the phone at all hours and describe a new ride or idea that he had, the petting zoo, the trains, the outdoor theatre, music around the lake, music on the stagecoach and on and on.  He loved that ranch and it always made me happy when he would be excited about my work.  I wasn’t his best friend or confidant.  I had an enormous respect for Michael, his music and his love of people.kids

When he sang Man In The Mirror, I was there.  When Michael sang vocal warm-ups before a session, I was there.  From setting up the vocal microphones and headphones to making sure the water was hot enough for Michael’s favorite drink, much of was handled by me.  I didn’t hear stories or rumors or interview people about working with Michael.  I WAS SIMPLY THERE DOING MY JOB.  It was an honor and priceless education to be part of his studio team.

Michael truly loved his fans.  There is no tribute show or seminar or movie that can replace the talent he was born with.  I was blessed to have known him and I cherish the memories of watching him practice circular moonwalks in the studio or singing scales with Seth or watching him from the wings on stage in front of 100,000 screaming fans.  I can hear his laughter as if he were sitting across the room from me.white catches the eye

HE WAS A PROFESSIONAL, A PERFECTIONIST, AN ENTERTAINER, A SINGER, A DANCER, A DAD, AND A FRIEND.  I miss him and I know you do, too.  Thanks for letting me share a few memories with you. (Brad’s seminars are schedules in Paris and Germany and New York City thus far.)  I hope when someone leaves the room after the seminar they feel as though I have introduced them to a friend.

A beautiful article came across Facebook in which I found great wisdom.  I wanted to place it in this collection of words of love for Michael.  It was written by Kimberley Jones.

I doubt there are many people on the planet who didn’t hear about the untimely death of the King of Pop Michael Jackson on June 25th 2009.  Regardless of my personal view of the pop icon (I happened to be a fan) there is no denying he had incredible energy and charisma and illuminated any stadium he graced the stage of.

There are few people in history that we know of that had that ability, that huge aura that could reach people right at the back of a 75,000 seater stadium!  So what’s that all about?  What energy are we talking about?  And was Michael Jackson a Lightworker?

Lightworkers are wired differently.  They don’t fit into the box called ‘normal’…who would want to anyway?!  Why would you waste energy trying to fit in with everyone else when as a Lightworker you are designed to stand out?  YOU ARE CREATED TO SHINE!  Michael Jackson was certainly designed to shine and shine he did.

Ligherworkers experience the  world from their heart.  They see with their hearts, they listen with their heart and they think with their heart.Smile two

Lightworkers are driven by the desire to share and serve.  To share love and inspiration, joy and wisdom and to serve others that they might live brighter lives closer to their joy and purpose.  If you ‘get’ the music of Michael Jackson then you can feel its effects deep within you.  His music carried light and power in every note and it could be felt physically and emotionally.  For me his music connected me to my joy and celebration of life.  When someone sings from their heart and soul you can just feel it…as tingles and hairs standing on end!

Music was Michael Jackson’s way of being a world healer, a channel of love and light.  The use of music to connect us with the Divine or higher powers goes back thousands of years.  As someone who has worked as a healer for many years I have experienced what can happen when a lot of light is streamed into someone’s body and energy field.  It actually brings up everything that isn’t light, it brings up what Jung called the ‘shadow’ or all the hidden, unresolved, wounded parts of ourselves that we haven’t learned to love yet.  In my experience with clients, when this happens it can get messy.  When a client’s shadow gets churned up by the light of healing the resulting feelings often get projected onto the device of healing, ie. me as the healer  or Michael Jackson as the global healer/musician.

When Michael Jackson was facing court case after court case I had an intuitive ‘download’ of information about what was happening on the collective soul level.  This perspective might not feel true for everyone but it felt then and continues to feel true for me now from my own personal spiritual perspective.giving a liver

I believe Michael Jackson embodied an energy of childlike innocence that was intended as a gift to the world.  It seems he was somewhat aware of this as part of his soul path.  I am not suggesting that as a human man he was without faults (who is?), but as a soul his energy gift to the planet was a return to our own purity and innocence.  So, as his music reached a peak in circulation and popularity this energy was carried on the waves of his music, reaching more and more people.  The effect of this was similar to when giving powerful healing and the kickback was the upsurge of the collective shadow all projected back onto the source of the light, Michael Jackson.  Remember, love and light will bring up anything that opposes it.  Michael Jackson’s innocence vibration brought to the surface all the related, deepest darkest fears and behaviours that some humans are capable of and they were projected onto one man.  He became the spiritual, energetic scapegoat for certain aspects of humanity to try to purge themselves of their own darkness.  This isn’t specific to anyone in particular, it was a cleansing of the collective unconscious.

It’s the familiar scenario of fingers pointing in the wrong direction and the darkness rising up, trying to maintain power in the presence of the light.  He said it himself in his own words: “if you want to make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make that change”.  When people are pointing fearful fingers of blame it is because they fear that thing within themselves or the capacity for that thing within themselves or in those around them.the joy of giving

Child abuse is a global wound, a collective shame and pain that will not be healed by crucifying scapegoats.  It is  collective wound that requires collective healing based on truly loving ourselves and each other.

I give thanks from my heart for the man, the healer, the musician, the Lightworker, the Sensitive who fulfilled his life purpose and sadly paid the ultimate price.  I know he will continue his work of Light as a guide to others.  He is now where he can truly shine and be seen in all his love and innocence.  We all have something to learn from this man who no matter how many stones were thrown at him he continued giving and loving and shining his light, committed to his soul’s purpose in his lifetime.  For some of us who loved him we may say he was called home too soon, his heart literally broken, but we can take comfort in his music and the knowledge that his global healing work continues on this planet every time one of his songs is played.htwf

I am grateful for him, for his contribution to our own joy and growth and I will miss him.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mghy6o1NVCo


Kimberley’s words move me to tears…and, those tears help my soul to continue its healing.  I have been lost in the struggle of trying to comprehend the WHYS.  Why is Michael continuing to be hurt by racism, greed and hate?  Why can’t God intercede and lift the constant barrage of media lies and attacks?  Why is Darling Paris having to deal with bullying and trolls and haters?  I know how often Michael said he just wanted to be left alone to create and love and live.  Why can’t that finally be?  How can someone be accused and go on trial when they are dead?  And, more and more…  The WHYS are with me throughout the day and into my sleep at night.  And, it feels desperate and unending. tear two

But, words have always helped me…words beautifully written with soul and love inspire me.  Part of the reason I am so very connected to Michael is through the power he had with words.  Kimberley’s words have given me a new insight into Michael’s aura…his light and I am lifted by them.  Thank you, Kimberley.  Thank you, Brad.  You have helped me through this day and hopefully the days to come.  My great joy will be if, when reading this blog, others feel that wonderful sense of relief that comes from understanding.mature beauty

Michael is my inspiration and my hope.  His inspiration has given me tools to become more intimate.  And, that intimacy is leading me to greater self-discovery.  Thank you, Michael.  I LOVE YOU MORE.









  1. beautiful thanks everyone. It brings me to tears the thought of the media and people meanness, greed, racism, cruelty, jealousy. even in michael’s death. I ask god why, and god said, for it is written from the beginning of time. what will be will be. we can continue michael’s work and spread love around the world. I will always remember michael and his family. I will continue to pray for them. love to all.

  2. Again, you amaze me with your eloquence. Michael must be inspiring you, I know he does! You put into words what Michael had to have experienced with all the tabloid junk noise. Bless you always. Keep Michaeling and will continue to share your stories whenever I can.

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