“A small body of determined spirits, fired by an unquenchable faith in their mission, can alter the course of history.”

Gandhispirtual two


Liz Johnson

“Through his “visits” he comes to us when we need him, in the most amazing and unexpected ways.”


~In her book, I BELIEVE IN MIRACLES, Liz Johnson speaks of the inspiring movement to a higher level of consciousness, the powerful sensation of divine love and bliss…all motivating us to reach our full potential, awakening the healer inside~  We are reborn.  Accepting that Michael is the Avatar of our time isn’t difficult for those who have chosen education as the vehicle towards understanding…and, with the knowledge gained, all prejudice simply disappears.  June 25, 2009 saw Michael’s profound influence on the heart of man endure beyond his passing.WE ARE ONE

A storyteller is someone who can hold his audience in the palm of his hand~making them cry and laugh, taking them anywhere emotionally with something as deceptively simple as words…MOONWALKER.  A storyteller can listen, truly listen, as someone shares the threads of a personal tapestry of events.  A storyteller is curious, adept at the art of questioning.  A storyteller becomes invisible so as to allow life to unfold as if unseen.  Michael Jackson embodied the attributes of the most gifted of storytellers.  To know Michael is to embrace the essence of childlike curiosity, while at the same time feeling the care of one older than his years…the trustworthy wisdom of a wounded soul.HERO FOUR

Michael used disguise, a kind of meditation “with eyes open”,(Inge) to ponder as  he studied others.  Often described as loneliness, another way to look at it is to visualize a person pondering, contemplative, reflecting on the history of someone else’s story.  He was a sponge, soaking up details of the many lives who slipped in and out of his memory net.  His potent power of perception, his unique ability to engage in the pain and pleasure of humankind, the pure joy of laughter and play…each kernel of living sparked original thought.MR. WONDERFUL TWO

Michael loved the world, loved his Fans, loved people as he thawed hearts across the entire planet.  His accessibility touched lives whether seen or unseen.  We hear time and time again that his presence was felt even before entering a room and when he entered, the room changed, shifting molecules, creating energy fields.  Quite simply, we are not the same after Michael Jackson.  Michael believed in dreams, embracing the possibility of miracles, grateful that he was a magnet for miracles.humanity

Neverland is a magical place representing the totality of Michael Jackson.  For almost two decades, it was a place of healing, a place where children could be children, and adults could return to a childhood forgotten.  Today, Fans return once more, seeking Michael and the Utopia he created, and although many painful memories cannot be ignored, Fans find a peace and spiritual uplifting there.  Sunrises and sunsets provide healing to help us remember lessons Michael has taught:  I believe in me so you believe in you…help me sing~ If you only believe in the blessings of life, in the flamesgood and the fair and the just and the right, in the power of love~ and the world we once believed in will shine again in grace~ believe in yourself no matter what it’s gonna take. 

Tears flow with such intensity and we realize that being there is enough.  We are touched and seek to find words within the stillness of the hour.  Michael is there.

August 2015ahhh thirty

The whole of today was given to our trip to Neverland, and we spent it beautifully.  The magic of this place still stays so strong.  There are no words  to explain how one feels when you are here.  His spirit definitely soars over this place…HOME SWEET HOME.  I cannot even start to imagine how emotional Michael feels when he sees his home from above…and everything that is going on inside and around…mean people still continue to get his belongings out of Neverland, while his Fans, his most loyal Fans and devotees…Army of Love, still camp at the gates and pay their respects, showingfans ten him their endless love, devotion and admiration.  We spent long hours there, talking to all who come and go, having some lunch, decorating the place with our candles, pictures, stones with messages of love from the Fans, listening to Michael’s singing, taking long walks alongside the Neverland fence. 

The miracle happened when we stood altogether in front of the road which starts right behind the gates and leads to the depths of the ranch.  Silently, we cried because nobody wanted to say Good-bye.  But, we had to.  It was totally silent.  Suddenly, the one and only tree right behind the guard house started shaking, producing a hum-like sound.  We were mesmerized.  Michael was giving us a sign he was here, watching us and comforting us.  There was no doubt among us, Michael  was here with us.  He saw  our pain and sent us his love and compassion.  Our Dear Angel loves his devotees, he really does.

Irina Eropolova 

~Watching from afar~

~I am here with you~neverland again three

~I’ll be there~

~I’ll never let you part for you’re always in my heart~



~Thank you, My Dearest Sister Irina…for all your love, for sharing your beautiful pilgrimage with me, for ALWAYS BEING THERE~



“I love to draw-pencil, ink pen.  I love art.  I go on tour and visit museums in Holland, Germany, England…you know, the huge paintings.  I’m just amazed.  You don’t think a painter could do something like that.  I can look at a piece of sculpture or a painting and totally lose myself in it.  Standing there watching itpain and becoming a part of the scene.  It can draw tears, it can touch you so much.  See, that’s where I think an actor or performer should be…to touch that truth inside of the person.  Touch that reality so much that they become a part of what you’re doing and you can take them anywhere you want to.  You’re happy.  They’re happy.  Whatever the human emotion, they’re right with you.  I love go for the heartrealism.  I don’t like plastics.  Deep down inside, we’re all the same.  We all have the same emotions and that’s why a film like ET touches everybody.  Who doesn’ttouch two want to fly like Peter Pan?  Who doesn’t want to fly with some magic creature from outer space and be friends with him?  Steven went straight to the heart.  He knows…when in doubt GO FOR THE HEART.”

Michael Jacksonbaby boy

Life is complicated.  Triumphs and tragedies, no matter how big or small, help to reveal patterns that slowly lead to greater understanding.  We react to what is happening when it is happening.  Later, when we take a breath and come out of crisis mode, we can choose our best examples of faith and land upon someone we trust.  Collectively, not only have we found that someone, we are committed to keeping his legacy of ideas alive.  Not given to hatred, never allowing himself to drown in tragedy, often witnessing the worst of human nature, Michael Jackson found his way into the heart’s soul of millions of us.  We feed off his strength, and the idea of setting his life and legacy aside never enters our consciousness…for those who cling to the myth of lies would like nothing better.  We have entered with no innocent eleventhought of departure.  Not easily distracted from the paths he created, we have learned his dialogue toward understanding and creating a beautiful world together.  In our reading, viewing, listening, study, we have grown to appreciate those who occupied different parts of his life…deciding who to trust and who to leave behind.  Using Michael’s life choices, we have learned the outlines of Michael’s character and have witnessed his legacy flooding the portrait with brilliant color.  If we stray too far from center, we return to lean on his ultimate message:  LOVE
And, although assaulted with unparalleled brutality, Michael taught us that it is never too late to keep your head up!an angel walking the planet

And so, the recent sale of Neverland has once again shot an arrow through our hearts.  It is a Dejavu of the kind that puts a different definition on Michael’s words: When in doubt, go for the heart.  Here we are standing and falling together again as those with power distance themselves from Michael’s Utopian Vision…a mighty heart giving, expecting nothing in return.  Quite the opposite, the sale of Neverland has nothing to do with vision or giving, and everything to do with money and taking.  Trying to come out of crisis mode, this loving community has reached back into the archives for pictures and words and feelings in an effort to recreate those magical years when Michael presented the world with a glimpse of heaven.  Remembering the time that children were enchanted in a place where a smile was the only currency required, we promise to keep Michael’s dream alive for future generations.who charity

Neverland appeals to the child inside of every man, woman and child.  It’s a place where I feel that you can return to your childhood.  I love it and I will always love it, and I will never, ever sell Neverland.  Neverland is me.  It represents the totality of who I am.”

Michael Jackson

~Ever since the age of 17, Neverland Valley Ranch had been a vision forming in his mind as part of his dream of doing something that would benefit the children of the world.  Michael wanted to build a sanctuary for children in need, especially the underprivileged, handicapped or terminally ill, as well as for animals.  And, if Michael had  a dream, as we all know, he would not stop chasing it until he had succeeded in making it come true.  Brick Price remembers how Michael was very good at visualizing what he wanted.  The project of building Michael’s dream, that had started on bare dirt soon turned out to be the development of a world class amusement park.  Michael literally was Neverland’s soul.touch

Michael had taken great care for every ride at Neverland to be modified in a way that guaranteed for children to be safe.  Each staff member was trained every 6 months on how to handle special needs children on rides.  Besides that, as Rod Sumi remembered from the time he worked on the ranch, all the employees were offered the opportunity to get schooling if they wanted to increase their education.  He and his son, Seth, who was also employed at the ranch at the time, took that opportunity to learn sign language.  This enabled them to communicate with more of the children.  Michael paid for all the books and gave them time off from work.ending

Unfortunately, although nothing is ever certain, recent developments pretty much indicate that Michael’s Neverland Valley Ranch might be lost forever.  Never in the world’s history has someone been so completely dedicated to doing something that would benefit the children of the world.  As Michael’s true and loving fans, let us try to find comfort in the thought that, whatever the future of Neverland Valley Ranch will be, Michael DID succeed in building his longtime dream.  Throughout many years, he brought incredible joy to the thousands and thousands of children, as well as adult guests, who were able to spend time at love of fansNeverland.  Nothing can ever take away all the beautiful, heartwarming memories they have from their unforgettable time spent at Neverland.  Most importantly, Michael, as he so eagerly wanted, will be remembered by many primarily not as a personality, but as an extremely caring and very charitable person!

Rob Swinsonman in the mirror dangerous world tour two

Neverland went for the heart and succeeded in capturing the multitudes.  It is a part of history that will not be duplicated.  Along with the massive volume of Michael’s legacy, we in the Michael Jackson Community are here to make sure none of it is forgotten.  And, the Gentle Heart that created it all remains a global treasure to be preserved.

~There can be no keener revelation of a society’s soul than the way in which it treats its children.”

Nelson Mandelaactivist six



~we lose ourselves in you~





Is it possible to be both scattered and solid?  Among the many questions I have asked this week, that is one.  Plato said, “The life that is not examined is not worth living.”  On the one hand, I truly know what I believe, but, I often reflect upon the means I am using to share this burning passion that has taken over every inch of me.  Accepting where my gifts lie, I embrace those who do many wondrous things that I cannot.  Since studying Michael Jackson’s life, I have come to realize the magnitude of sexy elevenhis gifts and talents, the vastness of his actions, the purity and endlessness of his love.  All have inspired activism.  I am drawn to words.  Michael opened his autobiography by saying he always wanted to be a storyteller.  He was a magnificent one, using words, music, rhythm, dance…his voice and his body “spoke” magically.  His magnetism created joy wherever he went.  Fans came away from the experiences with a sense of wonder, all the while, thinking about his messages, deciding how they might make a change.beauty again two

The articles I write speak to Michael’s life, his legacy, his humanitarianism.  I hope that while compiling research I offer a sort of repository of Michael’s words and the words of those who love him.  Having all the research in one place might be helpful and educational. While often speaking to the choir, revisiting leads to nurturing and definition.adorable again two

When I falter, when the pain of accusation strikes my body with such force as to knock me down, I turn to Michael for help.  Words, lyrics, music, message all help to bolster  me up again.  I turn to beautiful kindred spirits who write with spirituality that I so need.  The way I see the world comes out in my words.  And, sometimes, those words may be just what is needed by another soul.  I am hopeful and I continue.  I feel a responsibility to share what I have learned.  Message delivered makes a difference.  It is what brought me to Michael.  IT LEADS TO ACTION.  “Action is character.”  F.Scott Fitzgerald.

And so, this week has been hopeful and treacherous all at the same time.  The bloody accusations of WR and S are gleefully recounted in tabloid press, lurid and perfectly hateful.  We ask over and over and over again WHY?  At the other end of the spectrum, I am writing and preparing for my first ever Michael student.  A dear friend who is a vocalist, performer and teacher, will be the first artist to come study with me as I share THE MASTER.  I have known that I needed to share Michael’s artistry in another WHO IS IT TWOway…beyond the page.  This is my attempt to do that.  Having spent 34 years in education, I am giving back the best way I know how.  This gift to my friend is offered to inspire her in new ways.  I want it to be a joyful, organic experience.  I am eager to share many of the wonderful books I have accumulated in my Michael Library.  Our sessions will be filled with Michael’s vocals, rhythms, beatboxing, dancing, storytelling, artistry, performance, message and more.  Sending more ripples off into the world…if art is not what you see, but what you make others see…then, we know, MICHAEL WILL  DO IT.handsome again

I’ve decided that I am too old to be governed by fear of liars.  Our NEW MEDIA views integrity more important and truth a constant.  With love in my heart, I turn from self-interest being my resting spot, and aspire to intelligence.


And, what of NEVERLAND?  When I discovered Michael’s quote I found myself crying with him.  I felt the pain of loss thinking back to the years when Neverland offered a respite for those in great need, when it offered a place to rediscover the magic of childhood, the beauty of the natural world.  I wish I could turn back time.

“My fondest memory at Neverland was one night when we had a houseful of bald-headed children.  And one little boy turned to me and said, ‘This is the best day of my life!’  You had to just hold back the tears.”

Michael Jacksonhumanitarian two

I can so relate to Michael’s emotions.  I remember a student writing to me about his year in third grade…his final sentence was, ‘And, I wish I could do it all over again!’  I joined Michael in tears.  I WISH WE COULD DO NEVERLAND ALL OVER AGAIN.neverland thirteen

“If Michael’s Neverland Valley Ranch family residence is lost forever, it will be a tragedy felt for all eternity!  Never in the HIS tory of our world has someone’s home been so totally dedicated to something this beautifully created primarily for the beneficial healing found inside Neverland for underprivileged, handicapped and terminally-ill children.”beauty again three

Rob Stinson

“A DIAMOND IS CREATED UNDER STRESS.”  Michael Jackson was a diamond of the highest quality.  We love him because he loved us first.  The voice we offer to the world NEVERLAND FOURTEENon his behalf is under the stress of a culture that sees depravity in normal behavior…a mentality of ‘Why work when you can sue Michael Jackson?’ (T. Mesereau) We watch the force grow, often feeling powerless…our tears watering our collective soul.  But, there is an empowerment in the flow, the energy of so many.  With it comes our diversity of activism.neverland fifteen

I love you, Michael.  I love you, Dear Kindred Spirits.  If I could turn back time, I would.  All I can do is offer my heart on the line.


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“You have found me heaven on earth.”

Michael Jacksonneverland four


Gloria Rhoads Berlin

Until I looked at our woodland setting as a group of garden rooms, I was overwhelmed with the entire thought of gardening at all.  Reinventing the idea of creative settings that moved from inside out, suddenly the whole idea made some sense to me.  I could easily envision each scene in Technicolor, offering opportunities for meditation, for dining, for play.

I wrote those words some years ago as I worked on a project I called COLLAGE.  It was shortly after my retirement in 2001 and I felt it might be time to write about the layers in the first chapter of my life.  Fast forward to today, COLLAGE has been a distant memory.  My writing is now completely devoted to PAYING MICHAEL FORWARD, and yet, somehow, I suddenly found myself digging through old files to find it.  Bradtrain station Sundberg’s recent piece jogged my memory.

I continue to marvel at the number of things that remind me of a kindred spirit I share with Michael.  When I read that Michael loved twinkle lights year round, I laughed.  Our home has twinkle lights all year round.  Believe me, it has been the butt of much teasing.  When Michael spoke of the importance of looking children in the eye and telling them they were loved, I smiled.  A philosophy I practiced for the 34 years of my career was to sit on the floor with children as we learned together.  Being at the same level empowered them.  So, it was little wonder, when I read about Michael’s vision and approaches to accomplish his dreams for Neverland, that he would be thinking of scenes throughout the property.   Whatever Michael did, he gave it everything he had…Neverland was no exception.  He had a massive dream to create a magical world for himself, his family, his friends…AND FOR THE CHILDREN OF THE WORLD.  And, he invited everyone to come and rediscover the child hiding inside.  He didn’t focus on the money it all would cost…he NEVERLAND THREEfocused on the beauty and wonder of it.  He believed in JOY HEALING and he knew Neverland would make that happen.  And so, he created a magical, fantastical land the likes of which had never been seen before…the only currency accepted was a smile.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1bujUC01sBg

“I heard the familiar blast of a train whistle from over the trees and it made me think of another train I used to hear, many miles from here.  Most people know that Michael loved trains, and many know he had a railroad at Neverland Valley Ranch, but they sometimes forget that there actually were two railroads up there…one small and one large.  I worked on both trains, as you may remember, installing music on them.  The large train was an amazing installation project for Michael’s construction team.  I still remember driving through the ranch and seeing earth movers and dump trucks carving through the hills and leveling theNEVERLAND grade for the tracks.  People always talk about the carousel and the giraffe and elephant enclosures, but the train was a huge labor of love.  There were sounds at Neverland that are seared in my head forever.  When you arrived at Neverland, you would hear music and birds chirping (I’ve written about the birds before), but NEVERLAND TWOit would only be a short time before you would hear the train whistle, almost deafening if it was next to you.  Early in the morning you could sometimes hear the elephants trumpet and Kimba the lion letting out a roar reminding the handlers that he was hungry…again.  The chimps were amazingly (and annoyingly) loud with their shrieks and yells, but they were always ready to entertain anyone who stopped by for a few minutes.  The ranch always sounded different depending on what was going on that day.  If Michael wasn’t there, and no guests were scheduled, the gardeners would be out in force with mowers, leaf blowers, tractors, weed eaters, etc.  I seem to remember there were nearly 80 gardeners on staff during the busiest times at Neverland, and they could make some noise!  The funny thing was that the music (The Neverland Collection) welcome to neverlandplayed everyday whether Michael was there or not.  The ranch always had a different feel at night.  We had different music to be played after sunset, and even the sound effects we designed in the trees and from hidden speakers changed at night.  Many times I would leave the ranch late at night, and if Michael had guests in the amusement park, I would stop my car outside the gate (roughly 2 miles from the Park) and I could hear my subwoofers pumping out music through the dark, whether Michael was there or not.  Many people have asked me if I would ever consider going back to Neverland.  On the one hand, I would love to see it again, but on the other hand, I’m not sure.  Neverland was more than visuals.  It giving treewas twinkle lights in the trees and the smell of steam and smoke from the train and freshly cut grass.  But to me, it was also so many sounds.  To see the train tracks without hearing the train, or to walk through the park without hearing the hydraulics of the rides and thumping of the speakers…I don’t know.  Michael knew the power of music, and how it completes a scene.  Neverland was, in a sense, a movie with a lot of scenes.  And each scene had a soundtrack.  I’m pretty proud to have been a part of the sounds of Neverland, and I’m thankful that its soundtrack still plays clearly in my memory.  Pay attention to the sounds around coveryou.  Listen to them, remember them, enjoy them, and someday they will be a mini time machine.  Trust me, I know.  Brad Sundberg

In my imagination, I make trips to Neverland.  In my mind, I see the scenes Michael created and I hear the music.  I imagine the legions of Fans who were invited to spend afternoons and evenings, playing and eating, seeing and hearing.  Neverland was a place to be entertained, a place of hospitality and generosity, a place to escape into a magical world and forget the stresses of life, a place for those who had little time left to savingfind hope, a place to learn, a place to feel safe…and, most of all, a place to feel love.  A Fan wrote, “Neverland is a place where there was peace and kindness, where every candy imaginable was available in dispensers that don’t take money, where a movie theatre with popcorn and soda pop sat excitingly empty, the projectionist waiting to hear your wishes, a place where chimps dressed in sailor suits.”  When asked where they had been taken, Seth Riggs told visitors, “This is Neverland.  Peter Pan lives here.”

Spring has come and I feel an invitation to spend my days in nature, creating tiny scenes of wonder in my garden.  I feel God’s hand on my shoulder, and, I feel the warmth of Michael’s light.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raw96oUPGLk


Wind caresses me softly

Playfully chasing the leaves around my feet

The sun wraps her wings around me

Smilingly embracing me with her warmth

The feeling of complete peacemj and mm

Gets a new definition

Of your love.

When I close my eyes

And take a deep breath

I can smell the sweet odor of your aurachildren at neverland

Joyful laughter floats through the air

And disappears between the mountains

Smiling eyes wave at me

I don’t know you

But I know what I feel

My soul stretches

And breaks the chainsneverland clocks

Of pretending and hiding

It rejoices in myself.

This is home!

Miriam Lohr  Germany


WE LOVE YOU MORE!rescuing animals


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What do you miss most? “EVERYTHING!” Paris Jackson



Yesterday, I thought of Michael’s words, “I CLOSE MY EYES, JUST TO TRY AND SEE YOUR SMILE ONE MORE TIME, BUT IT’S BEEN SO LONG NOW ALL I DO IS CRY.”  Tears happen so quickly and I get this feeling in my stomach…an ache so deep that I think it will never go away.  But, yesterday, the tears tracked down my cheeks for another reason.  I was hearing Michael’s angelic voice as he created a new world anthem.  Salty tears licked my smiling lips.  For a moment, I forgot he was gone.  Michael was back, in the studio, the genius at work creating, playing, stacking layers of beautiful sound just as he has done thousands of time.  “PEOPLE ALL OVER THE WORLD”  is Michael Jackson sound, Michael Jackson message, Michael Jackson genius.  I have played it dozens of times, my body swaying, my arms lifted to the heavens…and, I am truly happy.  There is a need inside my soul that craves Michael’s voice, his creativity, things we have yet to experience.  I remembered Michael so many times asking Fans what they wanted.  He was surprised when many said they wanted more behind the scenes footage.  He answered with the Dangerous Short Films, tii fouroffering Fans that peek behind the curtain.  For me, I CANNOT GET ENOUGH.  I adore being that little mouse in the corner.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NJZIQGJGU4

In my present mood, I decided to look around in the lost and found of hearts, feeling so strongly what Paris said…WE MISS EVERYTHING.  Memories are often both sweet and painful.  They are a history of events and lives and paint pictures from the past.  Today’s paint brush will reveal many colors, shapes and textures.  When we step away, we will begin to see Michael…but, although dense with stokes, the picture will never be complete.  There will always be more love to paint and our yearning will go on.stunning


There is a reason we’ve been trying so hard to tell the truth.  At times, some have seemed defensive, even frenzied.  It is because of this fierce sense of urgency and the constant barrage of injustice that comes at Michael Jackson…his work, his image, his legacy.


Washington, D.C. March, 2004

Sheila Jackson Lee Representative US Congress

African Ambassadors Discussion HIV Aids

“Watching Michael Jackson hold on to the issue he cared so deeply about was a miraculous experience.  He was the Good Samaritan.  Michael never stopped giving.”


“I’d say he was the best cook ever.  Everyone’s surprised to hear it.  He was just a normal Dad, except, I would say he was the BEST DAD.  He made the best French toast in the world.”  Paris Jackson Oprah Interview 2010paris

“For we have all been someone’s child and we know that despite the very best plans and efforts, mistakes will always occur.  That’s just being human.  And when I think about this, how I hope that my children will not judge me unkindly and will forgive me, forgive my shortcomings, I am forced to think of my own father and despite my earlier denial, I am forced to admit that he must have loved. me.  He did love me and I know that.  There were little things that showed that…I was a kid and I had a real sweet tooth.  We all did.  My father…he did try…but, my favorite food to satisfy my sweet tooth was glazed donuts.  My father knew that, so every few weeks, I would come downstairs in the morning and there on the kitchen counter was a bag of glazed donuts.  No note, no explanation…just the donuts.  It was like Santa Claus.  Sometimes, I would think about staying up late at night so I could see him leave them there, but just like with Santa Claus, I didn’t want to ruin the magic for fear he would never do it again.  My father had to leave them secretly at night so no one would catch him with his guard down.  He was scared of human emotion.  He didn’t understand it or know how to deal with it.  BUT, HE DID KNOW GLAZED DONUTS.”  Taken from Michael Jackson’s Oxford Address 2000Daddy

“Michael started a wonderful tradition during the recording of BAD.  Every Friday evening about 5:00 p.m., Michael’s cooks from the ranch, Catherine Ballard and Laura Raynor, would come to the studio and cook an absolutely delicious evening meal for the entire studio crew.  Eventually, it became ‘Family Night.’  Family members and friends of the crew, along with their assorted pets, were included in this happy event.  Michael’s cooks were absolutely top-notch culinary experts.  Quincy nicknamed them ‘THE SLAM DUNK SISTERS’ because every dinner they did for us was a winner!  We had incredible delicious homemade tomato soup every dinner every Friday evening!  Ten-course turkey dinner one Friday!  Ten-course meatloaf dinner next Friday!  It was incredible.  That tradition that Michael started made us feel like a real family.”  Bruce Swedien IN THE STUDIO WITH MICHAEL JACKSON 2009father and son

“Michael had a generous nature about him.  And even at a young age, he had an entrepreneurial spirit, too.  Every time he received his weekly allowance, Michael spent it on candy.  He set up a little candy shop around the back of our house, so he could give his treats away to the neighborhood kids.”  Katherine Jackson NEVER CAN SAY GOODBYE The Katherine Jackson Story 2010

“Though Michael had been raised as a Jehovah’s Witness, he told me once that he never liked the part about no Christmas and no birthdays, so he just decided one day to throw those two rules away along with a few others.  He had someone get all of my family’s birthdays on a calendar and let him know when they were coming so he could NEVERLAND TWOplan a party, his favorite thing.  He’d set up a white tent by the theater with lunch and cake and all kinds of presents.  He would send Kato, all dressed up in a chauffer’s black suit and white gloves, to the house, in a beautiful deep blue, well-polished old Bentley, to pick up one of the kids and their friends.  Then, it was off to Neverland for a birthday party.  Bianca had a birthday all set up and on their daily walk down to the house, the elephants trashed the whole thing.  The tents were knocked down and they ate the cakecake.  She remembers it all being great fun.  I remember Mason getting two birthdays in one year.  Michael just called one afternoon and said they were ready for Mason.  ‘What for, Michael?’  He replied, ‘For his birthday, of course!’  I said, ‘But it isn’t his birthday.  You gave him a birthday party back in April.’  He responded in typical fashion without a pause, ‘Who cares, we’re gonna have another one.  I BELIEVE IN UN-BIRTHDAYS, YOU KNOW!'” William B. Van Valin II  PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS IN NEVERLAND WITH MICHAEL JACKSON 2013handsome three

“At our window, we viewed everything from a cold, gray world, looking into a shop where everything was alive, vibrant and sparkling with color, where children played in the street with their new toys, rode new bikes or pulled new sleds in the snow.  We could only imagine what it was to know the joy we saw on their faces.  Michael and I played our own game at that window: pick a snowflake under the streetlight, track its descent and see which one was the first to stick.  We observed the flakes tumble, separated in the air, united on the ground, dissolved into one.  That night we must have watched and counted dozens of them before we fell quiet.  Michael looked sad…and I can see myself now, looking down at him from an 8-year-old height, feeling the same sadness.  Then he started to sing, ‘Jingle Bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.  Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh.’  It was my first memory of hearing his voice, an angelic sound.  He sang softly so that Mother wouldn’t hear.  I joined in and we started making harmony.  We sang verses from ‘Silent Night’ and ‘Little Drummer Boy.’  Two boys carol-singing on the doorstep of our exclusion, songs we’d heard in school, not knowing that singing would be our profession.”  Jermaine Jacksoneleven

Looking around for the lost and found of our hearts.  Stories about life and childhood, some happy, some not.  All a part of who we are.  I find comfort in REMEMBERING THE TIMES.  The portrait of Michael Jackson becomes clearer…richer…with these sneak peeks.  I recall my own childhood…


The picture shows a little girl standing on a stool, holding a dish towel big enough to touch the kitchen floor…her mother’s hands in soapy water in the kitchen sink, both laughing, while singing songs.  Or, sometimes it would be reciting poetry.  For some, clean-up after meals is dreaded drudgery…not so in this photograph.  Instead, these cherished times of mother and daughter were times to giggle and learn and enjoy.  This may even have been home schooling, for the little girl was me and clean-up times were when I learned all my nursery rhymes and Christmas carols and even, The Star Spangled Banner.  Home schooling, maybe.  Clean- up, absolutely.  Mother and daughter love…WITHOUT A DOUBT.Jude 001

The lost and found of hearts.  Celebrating our lives.  Storytelling.  Love.  When touched by Michael Jackson, we become a part of his spirit for caring and loving, forgiving and holding onto each other.  I am profoundly grateful.


HIS story











     I have never really believed, before now, the far-reaching effect lying has.  Listening to half-truths, fabrications and bald-faced lies about Michael has convinced me of the devastating power of the lie.  I know the statements above were what Michael truly believed, but I am impatient for the lies to be proven lies and the truths to be shouted from rooftops.  I want to see it right now.  Of course, I do not and I cry and scream and even use profanity I have never uttered before, but what I so deeply want to change does not.  This is such a roller-coaster ride I am on.  My body is weary and my mind isn’t.  I want triumph right now!

Where did I miss the acceptance that God has the perfect plan and my will has nothing to do with it?  Why haven’t I taken to my soul the words Michael said to God, ‘What is it you want me to do next, God?’  I am always fighting challenge, looking for the everyday, the ordinary, normal and quiet…that smooth ride.  And now, even more difficult for me is seeing someone I love be unjustly treated yet again.  Often, I cannot stop the tears, the pain, that feeling of being gutted.BE STILL MY HEART

If someone came to me saying all of what I have written here, I would know exactly how to counsel them.  My brain works just fine.  But, my heart and soul override that calm counsel for myself.  I absolutely know that hate doesn’t minimize hate…love minimizes hate.  I absolutely know that Michael lived his values before a world audience and met challenges that make me weak.  He turned any negative into a positive through creating and giving more love.  I know that!  I’ve seen that many, many, MANY times.  It’s who he was.


     I know he didn’t look at himself as a victim.  His bravery was so deep. When I write my small checks each month for charities…when I help out at Ruby’s Pantry…I feel I am defining just a little bit who I am becoming.  I practice each and every day the idea of gratitude prayers and I really mean it all!  Maybe I have always distrusted God’s motives for me.  Am I just going through the motions and not really and truly being in the moment?  I know about being in the moment.  I undertand it’s importance but I have a long way to go to be good at it.



     I always remember the childlike innocence Michael talked about, wrote about.  Trusting as a child.  I get tripped up by this a bit when I think about Michael’s death.  That is tough to accept.  Do I believe that accidents are just that…untimely, unplanned…Conrad Murray colliding with Michael’s life?  Right now, I am not sure.  Michael’s trust was met with criminal negligence to the tenth power.  Media attention brought about a high-tech lynching never before seen.  The line between tabloid and legitimate news was erased forever.  Media power and greed and unprofessional behaviors were the rule with absolutely no accountability required.  That power has given the right to say anything, print anything and never be held responsible.  To tell the truth, I am appalled and very angry with what I have seen.

     Life lessons, challenges only hit us when they are personal.  Michael’s life is personal to me…to millions.  His death is personal to me..to millions.  Media slander is personal to us all.  Personal gets deep down inside the soul.  I am reminded of two powerful quotes taken from the UK Justice System:  WE ALL HAVE A DUTY OF CARE TO ONE ANOTHER AND NO BREACH SHALL GO UNPUNISHED…EVIL TRIUMPHS WHEN GOOD MEN DO NOTHING



“I heard Deepak saying on CNN that Michael was probably the most spiritual man he had ever met and I can attest to that as well.  He called me up one day back in 1991 after I had written a book called REAL MAGIC,  and asked me if I would like to come out and bring my family which is a whole plane load, so all eight of my children went with me and my wife and we spent 5 days out there in Neverland with him. Just talking to him, I went up on a mountain there, just the two of us talking and his question to me was, ‘Is there such a thing as real magic and what is it and how do I get it and I want to know about it,’ and was just so filled with excitement about this.  What concerns me when I see, particularly about a lot of the messages coming in on the internet, about people making accusations about this man, and that troubles me a great deal because this was the kindest, sweetest, most beautiful human being and I trusted my children with him, obviously.  When he was out there in Santa Maria County at Neverland, the prosecutor there had a real desire to go after him.  I think the statistics were that they had 76 police cars in that county and they sent 74 of them to go to the ranch and look for evidence to support these accusations beautiful sweatthat were made by a woman who had made a career out of going after celebrities and trying to make money.  And, in the same county, there were many priests that had not only been accused but admitted to sexually molesting young boys but they didn’t send any cars out for them.  And then all of the evidence that they acquired was presented to a jury of not his peers but to people who were not even that friendly toward him and they voted 12-0 to acquit him on every single charge.  So I know for absolute certainty that this is a man who could have never have done anything to be harmful to anyone.  He was very much a child himself.  He was as kind and decent and spiritual a human being as I’ve ever had the pleasure of spending any time with.  I dedicated one of my books to him.  When you look at his enormous talent and the committment that he had to ending world hunger for example.  He personally was responsible for cutting the number of people from starving to death on this planet in half back in the 80’s and 90’s with We Are The World and Heal The World and he took no money for it at all. When I spent the time out there at the ranch, the whole thing was organized around the children who were handicapped in one way.  The theatre, amusement park, all of it was set up so that children who were hospitalized and in beds and sick and on crutches and so on could come there and experience the joy of what it meant to be a child.  This was a beautiful, beautiful human being, someone who will go down in history as the greatest entertainer ever…but more than a great entertainer, this was a great man who lived a very tortured life particularly in the last several years of his life.  I think being accused of those kinds of things whensb his heart was so pure, it took a huge toll.  I was telling my children last night you know anybody can make an accusation such as that…these kinds of accusations, these  kinds of things people say…be very careful of that and know in your hearts from me, my time with him and those 5 days back in 1991 solidified for me that this was a transcendant being who had not only enormous talent but a heart as big as the sky.  (transcendent…superior, exceeding, going beyond ordinary limits, exceeding in excellence) Dr. Wayne Dyer on Michael Jackson 2009estow

I am strengthened by the millions of people telling Michael’s truth and I am very proud to be a small part of that triumph…the marathon of truth rigorously continues around the globe.  Yes, some continue twisting and turning reality for their own agenda, but, to my great relief, many, many, MANY are taking on the duty of care for Michael Jackson.  Everything that goes around, comes around…Michael’s truth will not be denied and, in that, I find justice and hope and inspiration.  My gratitude is over-flowing because I am learning that my questions inform my journey and REVISIT…NURTURE…DEFINE who I am.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kmNA22AILsILY

Thank you for taking time to listen.  This is my heart on the line.   IT’S ALL ABOUT THE LOVE.  My prayers tonight are that the likes of WR and others never win by trying to extort Michael…that Michael’s children and family are strong and brave, that all that knew Michael will stand by him and speak out.  That Michael’s love will sustain us all as we face the tidal wave of evil ahead.  I WILL NEVER STOP BELIEVING IN YOU, MICHAEL!

“Unclean minds mislead the pure

The innocent will leave for sure

For them there is a resting place

Michael, they won’t go, they won’t go where you go.”

Stevie Wonder Michael Jackson Memorial Servicefuneral




Jude 001YOURstory